How do you like your spam? On bread? Outta the can? Yuck to all that and triple YUCK to computer spam!
Every day I get so much of this garbage and sadly some days it’s all I get in my e-mail.
According to my e-mail I should be rich right now! Check these out!
From: “Mr.Parker Williams”
To:
Subject: [SPAM] YOUR ABANDONED CONSIGNMENT
Date: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 12:53 AMAttn: Beneficiary,
I am the new EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR and Head of Operations of Overseas Credit Commission London, UK. However, upon my arrival to this office, I found your consignment clearance file laying fallow on my desk without any attention. On a thorough scrutiny I discovered that your consignment have been abandoned by your delivery agent. Meanwhile, I have made several attempts to contact your delivery agent but to no avail.
To my greatest surprise, during my recent routine checking, I personally discovered that your consignment content declaration documents stated that your consignment contains personal effects while it contains United States dollar bills worth of US$ US$6.850 Million, which made it impossible for the consignment to be delivered to you earlier before now as your delivery agents were unable to meet up with the international demand to complete the delivery to you.
Based on this personal discovery, I am contacting you now to let you know that with my position and power in this office, I can assist you to legally clear your consignment and get it delivered to your home address, but you must agree with the following conditions:
1. You must not disclose to any member of my organization whatever assistance that I am going to render to you in respect of clearing and delivering this consignment into your custody.
2. You will provide me with an authenticated promissory note, otherwise known as partnership binding agreement, that upon the safe arrival of the consignment fund to your custody, that you will give me 30% of the total sum contained in the consignment.
3. You must give adequate attention to this matter until we
successfully and legally secure the consignment fund into your custody.
Upon your acceptance with my above conditions, I will furnish you with further details of what should be done to legally get the consignment fund cleared and safely delivered to you as the rightful owner of the consignment. Meanwhile, if you know that you would be unable to keep the secret of my assistance to you in this regards, please do not border to reply.Hence the consignment fund would be recovered into our organization treasury vault as unclaimed consignment fund. But if you can assure me of your competency to keep this secret, I would like to hear from you soon as possible so that I can email you further details and guidelines.
I am looking forward to your earliest response.
Have a Great Day
Mr.Parker Williams
Head of Operations
Overseas Credit Commission Uk London.
Tel:44 709 284 7074
Then there’s this one…warning me I haven’t taken my millions yet and offering a *discount* price for me to get it 
From: “Samuel McCoy”
To:
Subject: Notification of payment
Date: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 3:40 AMDear Beneficiary,
It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $6.8million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.
The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Umaru Yar’Adua to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.
Now how would you like to receive your payment? By Check or by ATM card?
ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card with your name written on it which you will use to withdraw up to $10,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Good if you do not have a bank account
Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days.
Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via UPS.
Because we have signed a contract with UPS you will only need to pay $114.97 instead of $152 saving you $37.03! So you save $37.03.
Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudster and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is $114.97 nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund within the next 3 working days after the receipt of payment.
Below are few list of tracking numbers you can track from UPS website to confirm people like you who have received their payment successfully. You can track the following listed below from http://www.ups.com
UPS Tracking Number: 1ZE7360R0350332747
UPS Tracking Number: 1Z4459670352990601
UPS Tracking Number: 1ZE7360R0350751357
UPS Tracking Number: 1Z97R4E60301773117
UPS Tracking Number: 1ZE7360R0349574337Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $114.97 This is because UPS C.O.D (Cost on Delivery) service is not applicable to international shipping according to their terms.
To effect the release of your fund valued at $6.8million you are advised to contact the delivery officer Rev. Mark Holford with the information below, email markholford@yahoo.cn Telephone: +234-702-638-5998 and 011-234-702-638-5998
On contacting him do provide him your:
Full Name: ____________________
Address: ____________________
Home/Cell Phone: ____________________
Preferred Payment Method (Check or ATM): ____________________Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment/package within the next three days after you have made the payment for shipping.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Samuel McCoy
CC: Federal Bureau of Investigation
CC: National Central Bureau of Interpol
AND then there’s this!
From: “JAMES CAMPBELL” <>
To:
Subject: PAYMENT FROM SEATTLE WASHINGTON
Date: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 12:50 PMPoverty Alleviation Program
My name is James Campbel, US Diplomat working with United Nations. This is an official fund releases notification of $15 Million US dollar from United Nations/International Monetary Fund (IMF) to eradicate poverty in all countries of the world.
This exercise is applicable to everyone in United States of America and also other countries of the world, even to the victim and none victim of scam and also those expecting fund from any country of the world.
This program is to enable normalize the world’s economy and also to provide food and other infrastructural equipments to rural and urban areas within the globe.
However, after due qualification process is conducted by our legal officials, this fund will be delivered to your home address using our diplomatic immunity. So you are here by requested to send to us the below required information to enable process your payment without further delays.
FULL NAME
DELIVERY ADDRESS
PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS
OCCUPATION
AGEPlease kindly be informed that this fund will be paid from our diplomatic outlet here in Seattle Washington United States by me the diplomat contacting you (Mr. John Harvey).
For more information, call the below number.
Thanks,
James Campbel. Notice here how he mis-spelled his own last name
UN. Diplomat
Seattle, WA.
Tel:206-426-5542
Fax:206-426-5542
sa.bob12@live.com
LOL! okie dokie then! Of course I’m sure all of these have roots in Nigeria. I think the 2nd example mentions the Pres. of Nigeria? GAG!!
I get all kinds of other spam too..mostly for “male enhancement” products. WTH?? I’d honestly like to know how many bottles of Viagra they get rid of by sending all the spam out for them. I’d probably be surprised! It’s probably a TON.
I’m a pretty good fan of Judge Judy. She cracks me up! Anyway I’ve seen her do some cases where the person actually got a fake check from one of these wacked out Nigerian schemes, used a family member’s or friend’s checking account to deposit it and sent “xx” amount of money to the scam, spam artist only of course to have the check bounce or come up bad and then the family member or friend is out of a ton of money. UNBELIEVABLE! I kept thinking that surely noone replies to these scams. It’s really sad that they DO.
In the meantime I’m using any anti-spam method I’ve got. My spam folders in my e-mail programs, my spam filters on this site, using “temporary mailbox” a firefox addon that gives you a temporary fake e-mail to use to sign up to certain sites with…you name it, I’m using it! I have to admit though I’ve thought about answering some of these Nigerian scam e-mails and playing with them 
hehee! Too much of a time waster though might be amusing!
Just remember. If you e-mail and don’t get a responce? You might have been whisked to the never-never land of my spam folder. I have to admit I very rarely check it. Sorry bout that! Just try again maybe putting “I’m NOT spam” in the subject line. 
Spam sucks the big whazoo.
I don’t have too much of it, thankfully. We use Trend which seems to take care of 99% of it in my outlook. And Gmail does a pretty good job with their email as well. As does Akismet for wordpress.
((knocking on all sorts of wood around me)
Oh yes! Spam. I am already so rich, I have 2 or 3 very wealthy relatives that died and have no one to give their fortune to but me! Aren’t I lucky? lol. Oh, and the male enhancement emails….man, they are getting creative with those. It makes me blush just reading the dang subject line!
Ick! I HATE those emails. It’s like virus’s I just don’t understand why people bother. All it does is cause grief for the recipient. Grrrr!!!
Oh yes SPAM!!!
<- can I do that 
I love the ones that ask you to go to your bank account etc etc when you dont even bank with them! Now that HAS to be a fraudulent one right!
You know how at parties you make small talk and ask someone, “What do you do?”
Have you ever had anyone reply, “I’m an internet spammer.”? Who does this stuff??
I feel your pain. I had a work e-mail address for 9 years and had to just delete the account because of thousands of spam that came to my inbox every day!
I discovered what I had done: I had put my e-mail address on my work website instead of bracketing the [at] and the [dot]. Internet “spiders” crawled all over me.
I always thought that spiders were icky.
Just getting in touch! Wanted you to know we just celebrated a big birthday and (fingers crossed here)will hopefully have a GREAT picture just perfect for your line art being developed as we speak. Jeeeez I really hope so – my quest to use the “perfect” photo has REALLY delayed things for you hasn’t it? Hoping still tho -that you say ‘no rush’!!! How are things goin in your neck of the woods?? Good, I hope. Loving your site and all the art you display for us. Can’t wait to have one of my own!!
Jacinda! Hey girl! Will try and get you out a e-mail soon…it’s ok
Take as much time as you need and Happy Birthday to whoever had it!